I Didn't Mean To! It Just Happened!
by jessica.k.peck.9
Summary: Merlin turns himself into a girl by .. OR Merlin turned himself into a girl because he didn't think to check what the spell .. or if there was a reverse spell for A funny tale of Merlin's distress at being a woman for a week! Mini story - less than 10 NO Merthur! Or any other Merlin-anyone pairings! Some Crack!
1. Oh Shit

**This has been inspired by other fic's where Merlin is featured as a girl. I loved the idea so much! But - truthfully - didn't like the Merthur business. It's not for me, sorry! :)**

**Set in a time when Arthur knows about Merlin's magic and he ****_hasn't _****used the Dolma disguise to save Gwen.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Merlin had disguised himself many times. Dragoon being his main disguise. Actually... his _only _disguise. Never had he tried to change himself beyond that. Never.

Until now. But this wasn't even intentional. This was... not what he expected.

_"Oh shit!"_

Yes, turning himself into a woman was in no way intentional.

"No no no no no!"

Merlin looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. His feminine features looking remarkably cute as he did so. He raked his fingers through his _very long_ black hair and let out a noise that was definitely not male!

Had he just squealed?

"Oh god, NO!"

His eyes and hair were the only things he recognised. Everything else was... well... womanly. A horrifying notion passed his mind and he gingerly lifted the waist band of his breeches. He peeked.

"NO!"

Womanly, indeed.

"This can't be happening!" Panic welled up in his throat. Only then realising how high-pitched his voice was. He choked the panic back and shook his head - making his long hair slap his face. "Gah!" He pushed it away and looked about for the spell book he had used, it was lying on his four-poster bed.

He made his way to it, noticing a strange sway in his large hips as he did so. Bending to pick the book up, his gut twisted as horrible flopping jelly-like _things _on his chest swung forward due to gravity. He had breasts.

"Argh," Merlin whipped the book off the bed and into his hand. Spinning - he sat on his bed. He got half-way through crossing his legs before he froze and slowly put the leg back. Forcing himself into the usual sitting position for a man.

Knee's apart, elbows on said knees.

He flipped the book open and tried to ignore the breasts hanging loose between his arms - restricting movement. He quickly found the page he had used and scanned it.

Yep, there it was.

_For disguise - _

_"áwendednes"_

That simple little spell did _this_. Merlin looked down at his new body and grimaced. His hair fell forward and brushed over the book in his hands. He pushed it behind his ear annoyedly and scowled. Turning his attention back to the book he looked for the reverse spell.

He looked.

And he looked.

Looked a bit more...

"It's not there,"

Merlin stared down at the page in shock. There wasn't a reverse spell! He gapped at the book and started turning pages. He scanned every one of them but it wasn't there!

Merlin's heart was thumping against his small ribcage and his feminine legs twitched and shifted. He stood up suddenly and began pacing. He held the book tightly in his hands and his mouth opened and shut constantly.

One thought solidified in his brain.

"I need to see Gaius - he'll know what to do!"

He was almost at the door when he stopped and stared down at himself.

"I can't see him like this!"

He caught himself in the mirror again and walked over to it. Looking at himself was strange. He knew it was him - but it was also a _she_. A _her. _A _woman._

"I can't show my face out there," In the mirror, _her _mouth moved but he felt the words come out. That woman was him. She was him. He was a _she_.

"Right, I've established that!" Merlin shook the round-about thoughts away and once again - pushed his hair behind his ear. He forced himself to look at his - _her_ - reflection a bit closer.

His own blue eyes were set in a face of pale skin and high cheekbones. The face was narrow and jaw small. Lips were full and red. The nose was long but not over-powering. His woman's ears didn't stick out. Glossy black hair tumbled down onto her small shoulders. She was thin and curvy. When Merlin pulled back his shirt to bunch at the back - her hips showed prominent and breasts pressed against the rich material.

All her clothes felt loose now. As if she had lost weight. Now that she thought about it - she was a couple of inches shorter. Still tall but not as much as before.

"I _really _can't go out like this!" Merlin made that disturbing noise again and sat rigidly on her bed.

_Knock knock knock_

"Merlin? Why were you shouting? Let me in!"

Merlin froze in shock and listened to the voice outside his room.

"Merlin!"

It was Gwen. Merlin let out a sigh of relief. She could show Gwen. Gwen wouldn't laugh. Maybe.

"Come on, Merlin! Open the door!"

Merlin then remembered she had locked the door to keep servants out. She jumped up and tried not to cringe as her hips swayed. She stopped by the door and let her hand hover over the latch.

"Gwen?" She called through the door.

"Merlin? Is that you? You sound different,"

Merlin could have laughed but he didn't, "Umm... is it just you?" She hoped Arthur wasn't with her.

"Yes, it's just me. What's wrong?"

As an answer, Merlin unlocked the door and opened it. But she didn't show herself. She hid behind the door and pulled it as far open as needed to fit an eight month pregnant Gwen through. Gwen stepped in and Merlin shut the door again. Locking it and slowly turning to face her.

Gwen just gapped at her. Her eyes wide as she took in a woman in Merlin's clothes. Merlin scratched her head in embarrassment and smiled crookedly at Gwen. "Hi?"

Gwen stopped gaping. "Merlin? You're a woman,"

"Well, thanks Gwen! I hadn't noticed that!" Merlin snapped sarcastically.

Gwen giggled before slapping a palm over her mouth. Her eyes betrayed the concealed mirth however.

"Well, I'm glad you think this is funny," Merlin barely noticed when she put her hands on her hips and shifted all her weight on one leg.

Gwen snorted at the image before her and desperately tried to keep the laughter back. But failed. Completely.

Before long, Gwen was laughing so much - Merlin had to lead her to the bed and sit her down before she hurt herself. Tears were streaming down Gwen's face as she looked at the Warlock turned Witch.

Merlin glared at her. But her own composure was slipping as she saw the funny side. She chuckled at Gwen at first before letting out a girlish giggle. Her face dropped when she uttered the noise which only proved to make Gwen laugh harder.

Then Merlin was laughing at Gwen laughing at her. And finally laughing because this was the weirdest day of her entire life.

* * *

Once the laughter had subsided, Gwen turned serious - as serious as she could - and asked, "Why don't you change yourself back?

"I can't," Merlin forced it through her teeth.

Gwen looked at her baffled, "Merlin... surely, you would have checked that there was a reverse..." The smile in her face dropped away to be replaced by exasperation, "You didn't, did you?"

Merlin shrugged.

"Oh Merlin. You really are a fool," Gwen tried to look stern but ended up laughing again.

"Oh thanks for the support Gwen," But Merlin's own lips were twitching at it. She cocked her head to the side and grinned stupidly - typical of Merlin. She flicked her hair out of her face and crossed her legs - not typical of Merlin. She looked back at Gwen to see that she was staring at her. "What?"

"We have to get you changed back before you're effected by this for the rest of you life,"

Merlin looked down at her elegantly crossed legs and smooth posture. "I agree,"

"We'll have to take you to Gaius," Gwen struggled to her feet and stood in front of her, one hand on the small of her back and the other over her bump.

"No, I'm not going out there!" Merlin crossed her arms and screwed up her limbs tighter.

"Why not?"

"Why do you think?"

"Well," Gwen smiled down at her, then went back to seriousness, "You can't expect Gaius to come all the way up those steps,"

Merlin cringed in her discomfort, "I don't want to. What if anyone saw me?"

"They won't recognise you. I barely did,"

"'Barely'? But you _did_ recognise me?"

"Only because I know you!"

Merlin just raised an eyebrow at her. Then gave up, her shoulders slumping, "Oh alright,"

Gwen headed towards the door, "I'll get you a dress,"

"What? No!"

"The only way no-one will recognise you is if you don't have those clothes on. I only thought it was you because of the clothes,"

"I'm not wearing a dress!"

"Merlin," Gwen cautioned.

"I'm not wearing a dress!"

Gwen sighed then gave up, "Fine! But you'll have to change your attire anyway,"

Merlin groaned and stood up. Her breasts swung forward as she did so. Merlin went rigid and cringed again. "Why are they like that?"

Gwen looked at him baffled for a second before it dawned on her, "You need something to keep them up,"

"I'm not wearing woman's underwear - you can drop that thought right _now_!"

Gwen rolled her eyes and went over to Merlin's wardrobe. Pulling it open, she fumbled about for a second before taking out one of Merlin's longer neckerchiefs. "Take your shirt off," she instructed.

"Eh," Merlin self-consciencely lifted her arms to cross over her chest, "What?"

"Take off your shirt.. Merlin, you're not getting protective over this new body, are you?"

"No," Merlin denied, then changed her mind, "Perhaps,"

Gwen groaned in exasperation and stepped forward, "Take it off, Merlin,"

"No,"

"Take it off,"

"No!"

"Off, now!"

"No!"

Gwen was now standing meer centimetres from her, with Merlin trapped against a post to her bed. Without warning, Gwen whipped the shirt off her and had the neckerchief tied tightly around her chest before Merlin had a chance to protest.

"There," Gwen admired her handy work.

"Will you stop looking at my chest?"

Gwen rolled her eyes and went back to the wardrobe. Taking out a clean shirt and breeches. "Use your magic to shrink these to your size and maybe change the colour of the shirt,"

Merlin took the shirt from her and put it on. Standing in front of the mirror, she looked at the shirt that was too long for this body. She whispered a few words and the shirt began to shrink. When it finished, the material fit perfectly on her frame, with the tail of the shirt still hanging down over her back end. Merlin then rolled up the sleeves to her elbows.

The breeches were next. Merlin told Gwen to face away as she changed. Gwen had rolled her eyes yet again but turned away. Once the breeches were fitting perfectly, Gwen suggested a corset or thick belt to go round her middle.

Merlin just gave her the best glare she could muster. Gwen held up her hands in defeat.

A few more adjustments to her knee-length boots and they were done. Except - "Shirt colour, Merlin,"

Merlin looked down at his blue shirt and frowned, "What's wrong with it?"

"You always wear blue or red,"

"Your point being?" One look at Gwen's unwavering expression told him not to argue, "What colour then?"

"Cream,"

Merlin rolled her eyes and whispered a new string of words. The blue in his shirt faded to leave the universal shade of cream. "Happy?"

"Humm... I still think you need that belt,"

"Alright!" Merlin was loosing his patience with her.

Gwen just squealed in delight and went back to his wardrobe. "Here," She handed Merlin a leather belt. "Make this thicker,"

Finally, they were done. Merlin stood in front of the mirror to see the final result. She was wearing the cream shirt that dropped over her hips and onto the brown breeches. Black riding boots were at knee-length and a thick brown leather belt went round her waist. Black hair framed her face. The rolled up sleeves showed off beautiful pale skin.

"You know what, Merlin?"

Merlin hummed a question.

"You don't look so bad as a woman,"

"Thanks Gwen," Merlin rolled her eyes. "Let's go,"

They made their way to the door. Gwen slipped out first to check the way was clear before beckoning Merlin out.

_Oh gods, _Merlin thought_, please don't let Arthur see me._

* * *

**AN: I was cracking up just typing this! :D**

**It was meant to be a one-shot but I see at least another two chapters in it! Phase one - get out of his (her?) room: Complete. **

**Hope you can join me for the next couple! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**


	2. The Talk

The corridor was deserted. No servants, guests, Knights or Kings walked the hallway. Except, of course, Gwen. Merlin let out a sigh in relief and took a few more tentative steps forward, swinging the door to her chambers shut.

Next to her, Gwen snickered. Merlin looked at her and frowned. "You're going to tease me about this for the rest of my life aren't you?"

"Of course... not," Gwen tried to look innocent, she didn't pull it off well.

"Let's just hope Arthur doesn't see me," Then her face dropped, "Gwaine isn't on patrol today is he?"

"No," Gwen shook her head, "He's nursing a hangover,"

"Oh," Merlin took a step back towards her chambers. "I'll just stay -"

"No, you don't!" Gwen grabbed her arm and pulled her forward. Linking her arm with Merlin's she yanked her down the corridor and towards the stairs.

"Gwen," Merlin whined. "Just let me hide,"

"Nobody is going to recognise you, Merlin!"

"Yes, they will. I can feel it, it's going to happen,"

"If it's going to happen, you might as well _let_ it happen,"

"But Gwen -"

They rounded the corner and came face-to-face with a rather annoyed King.

"Arthur," Gwen breathed. "Umm..."

Arthur frowned, "Have you seen Merlin?"

"Nope," Gwen smiled.

Arthur's frown increased and he rocked back onto his heels. His eyes flitted towards Merlin and back to Gwen.

"Oh!" Gwen jumped and looked at Merlin, "Arthur, this is Mer...lina. Merlina,"*

Merlin had to restrain his jaw from dropping. Merlina? Surely, she could have come up with something better than that? Instead, Merlin smiled pleasantly and bowed her head.

"Nice to meet you," Arthur greeted her, but his eyes wouldn't focus on her for long. He kept glancing into the corridor they had just come down. "Gwen, I thought you had just gone to see him because he was shouting?"

"When I got there, he was gone," Gwen quickly explained.

Arthur looked down at his wife, seeming not to trust her answer. Then, he shrugged and bent to kiss her on the cheek. His hand brushed over Gwen's bump before he slipped past them and headed towards Merlin's room.

Gwen and Merlin started to walk again. It didn't take long for Merlin to break the silence, "Merlina? Seriously?"

"I'm sorry," Gwen held up a hand in defense, "Your name was coming out of my mouth before I could stop it. So I changed the ending,"

Merlin shook her head in disbelief. "Merlina?"

"What, Merlina? You wanted another name? Claire, perhaps? Katie? Lyn? Elinor?"

"Just... stop,"

Gwen chuckled. They reached the spiral staircase and began to climb down. Merlina walking in front of Gwen, so if she tripped, she could catch her.

"I wished they designed these steps so pregnant women could walk down them in confidence," Gwen grumbled.

Merlina snickered, then stopped abruptly, "Gwen?" she began carefully.

Gwen hummed a question.

"Do you think I'm... eh... _all_ woman?"

Gwen didn't say anything for a few seconds, then, "Probably. Are you worried you won't be attracted to women anymore?"

Merlin scoffed, face going bright red.

Gwen was being serious when she continued, "You shouldn't be embarrassed, Merlin. I'm sure Gaius will sort it out when we get down there. You'll be back to normal soon,"

Merlin just hummed and kept walking. "Actually... that wasn't what I meant,"

"Oh?"

Merlin could feel her face burning. Did she have to say it? "Eh..."

"Oh! Merlin you can't get pregnant if you don't have sex,"

"I know that!" Merlin exclaimed, she was mortified.

"Stay in the castle at night and you won't be attacked, then,"

"I can't believe I brought this up. Just forget about it!"

There was silence for a minute then Gwen spoke again, "Merlin... are you a virgin?"

They had reached the bottom of the stairs now. Merlin froze as she asked that, before turning slowly to face Gwen.

Gwen looked curious and lifted her eyebrows quizzically.

Merlin just blushed deeper and turned away.

"Awww, Merlin!" Gwen gushed. "You are, aren't you?"

"I'm not having this conversation," Merlin quickly walked away from her.

There was a couple of seconds pause before Gwen began waddling after her. "Merlin!" she called, "Come on, talk to me,"

"No," she deadpanned.

"But Merlin -"

"No,"

"Fine," Gwen muttered, "Will you at least slow down? I'm pregnant, you know,"

Merlin slowed her pace and waited for Gwen to catch up. Her back was rigid with tension as Gwen walked beside her. There was a minute of blissful silence as they walked down a few more corridors until -

"Merlin,"

"Yes, Gwen?" Merlin huffed.

"Are you attracted to women? As a man?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Are you denying it?"

Merlin's jaw dropped. "Why do you care?!"

They stopped talking while a couple of servants walked past them.

"Well," Gwen continued when the servants had gone, "I've never seen you with a woman -"

"I haven't had time!"

"That's no excuse!"

"Well," Merlin struggled to think of something to say. She opened her mouth and shut it again quickly.

"Does Arthur know?"

"About what?" Merlin groaned.

"About you being a virgin,"

"And we're back to this topic,"

"Well?"

"Of course he does. Tried to make me go to a brothel a couple of times,"

Gwen looked shocked.

"He was drunk those couple of times," Merlin added quickly, "And Gwaine was helping,"

"Oh, okay," Gwen nodded understandably, "About women?"

"What about the vile creatures?" Merlin glared at her.

"You just called yourself 'vile'," Gwen smirked.

"Och!" Merlin rolled her eyes, "I'm not a woman really,"

"How can you not be a woman?"

Gwen and Merlin froze. Merlin had had her face turned to Gwen and Gwen had been looking back at her. They hadn't spotted the man leaning against the wall in front of them. They looked at him now. Merlin felt the blood drain from her face.

_Gwaine_ was leaning against the wall in front of them. He smirked at them and looked directly at Merlin. "You look like a woman to me. Why do you say you're not?"

"You shouldn't be eavesdropping in someone else's conversation Gwaine," Gwen scolded.

"Well, you were talking loud enough for me to hear you coming towards here a few corridors away,"

"How much did you hear?" Merlin said slowly.

"All of it," Gwaine grinned evilly at Merlin. "Tell you what, Merlin, I never expected you to look this good as a woman,"

Merlin stomped her foot and shouted, _"Don't you dare take the piss!"_

Gwaine laughed and flicked his hair out of his face, "Can you do that?"

"Yes," Gwen giggled, "I've seen her - him - do it,"

Merlin _humphed_ and stalked past them.

"Come on, Merlin," Gwaine began following her, "Let me see you flick your hair!"

"I will not," Merlin walked with a stiff back and tried desperatly to stop her hips from swaying. She was grateful for the neckerchief around her chest now. The last thing she needed was jiggling boobs.

"Actually," Gwaine paused, "You're arse looks good enough, you can forget about the hair,"

Without warning, Merlin span around and wacked him across the head. "You look at my arse, you get turned into a..." Merlin thought about it, "A worm,"

Gwaine just smiled, "You won't know I'm looking at it, 'cause your back will be turned,"

Merlin leaned in close, so their noses were almost touching, "After I turn you into a worm, I'll leave you out to dry... or for the birds, either way," It was a deadly warning. Gwaine paled.

"Well," Gwaine stepped back and coughed, "I won't look at your arse, I promise,"

Merlin _humphed_ again and turned away, heading back down the corridor. She heard a conversation starting between Gwaine and Gwen but didn't attempt to join in. She was fuming. Gwaine knew! This was a disaster. Merlin will never live it down!

She heard the word "Merlina" behind her and clamped her jaw shut. There was no way, she was going to live this down.

"Merlina!" Gwaine called behind her.

Merlin ignored him and kept walking. They were almost there now.

"OI! Merlina!"

Merlin gritted her teeth and bowed her head. She wasn't going to respond.

_"Merlina!"_ Both Gwen and Gwaine were shouting for her now.

"WHAT?!" Merlin yelled and spun around.

And crashed into Arthur.

"Ow!" Arthur grunted.

Merlin stumbled and almost fell, but Arthur grabbed her arm and yanked her up.

"Thanks," Merlin said quietly and let her eyes drop to the floor.

"No 'Sorry'?" Arthur looked down at her disapprovingly.

"Not for a prat, no," Merlin raised her eyes and lifted an eyebrow. Well, Gwaine knew. The secret wouldn't last long.

Arthur's eyes widened then he glanced around at the sudden snickering and giggling coming from behind him. "Gwaine, what are you doing here? Gwen?"

"You don't recognise him?" Gwaine laughed.

"What?" Arthur looked back at Merlin and frowned. Then the frown melted away as he looked at the blue eyes.

"You really are a prat, Arthur," Merlin growled.

"Merlin?" Arthur scoffed, finally dawning on him, "You're a woman!"

"You don't think?" Merlin said in mock surprise and rolled her eyes.

Arthue laughed. "Merlina!"

* * *

**AN: Well that's the next bit done! :D What does everyone think? **

**I'm trying to type "she" instead of "he" and "Her" instead of "him". It's impossible! It always comes out as "He" or "Him". *shakes head* **

***Thanks, Moonfox! :D**

**Responses:**

**Guest**

**Your welcome! :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**Nance**

**I'm glad you liked it! :D I hope you liked Gwaine and Arthur reactions. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Megan**

**If Gwen hadn't been eight months pregnant and the Queen... I think she would have dropped on the floor laughing aswell. :D Thanks for reviewing!**


	3. Wo-man?

Merlin stood passively as the laughter vibrated from the King's chest. His wife and Knight were also laughing in the backward but they were laughing more at Arthur's face than Merlin. Merlin felt his own face try to break into a smile as tears began to stream down Arthur's cheek's, but she kept her face stern.

Maybe he would realise this was hurting her feelings.

Merlin blinked, had she just thought that? When did she care about Arthur hurting her feelings? Arthur _always_ hurt her feelings!

Merlin was stunned by her own thoughts, so she didn't notice when Arthur finally stopped laughing. Not until he clamped his hand down on her shoulder. Merlin looked up startled, then glared at him.

"Merlin," Arthur chuckled, "Let me see you," Arthur pushed her back to arms length and his eyes scanned her frame quickly. "You look good as a women,"

"Why is everyone saying that?" Merlin complained.

Arthur just looked at her face with a flight frown. Before looking away to Gwen, "You knew?"

Gwen nodded, a hand over her mouth to keep back the giggles.

Merlin glared at the back of Arthur's head, sticking up a rather rude finger in his direction. Gwaine burst out laughing. When Arthur turned around, Merlin had returned to the picture of innocence. Arthur looked at her quizzically and Merlin rose her eyebrows, pursing her lips challengingly.

"It's unnerving," Arthur muttered, "I'm scared I might get scratched,"

Merlin glanced down at her long, elegant fingernails and back up to Arthur, who looked as if he was going to burst out laughing again. Merlin's glare deepened.

"Why did you turn yourself into a girl?" Arthur asked.

"I didn't mean to!" Merlin threw up her arms, "It... just... happened," She wasn't sure if she should admit that she hadn't checked what the spell did or if there was a reverse to it.

"He didn't check what the spell did or if there was a reverse to it," Gwen said, walking up to Arthur's side and linking her arms with her husbands.

Arthur rolled his eyes at a stunned Merlin and said, "You idiot,"

Merlin gaped at Gwen who opened her mouth in a small 'o'. "I wasn't meant to say that, was I?"

"No! You weren't, Gwen! So much for sisterly love!"

Merlin barely noticed what she had said. She just turned and stomped off.

There was a shocked silence behind her. Then a rather worried question from Arthur, "He isn't going to stay like that, is he?"

Then Gwaine burst out laughing.

Merlin's shoulders hunched up and she quick-marched it to Gaius's chambers. The sooner she was back to normal the better.

When she reached Gaius's chambers, she threw open the door and called out, "Gaius! You have to help me!"

Gaius, himself, looked up from the potion he was leaning over and frowned at the woman in his doorway. "How can I help you, Miss?"

"Don't even!" Merlin held up a finger and shook her head, "Gaius it's me! It's Merlin!"

Gaius straightened and looked closely, "Merlin? What have you done, _now_?!"

"_You_," Merlin pointed at him accusingly, "just called me 'Miss'!"

"Well, I'm sorry, my boy... girl?" Gaius cracked a smile.

"I swear, if you start laughing I'll lose it completely!"

Gaius quickly smothered the smile and let his expression drop back into the impassive physician. But his eyes still gleamed. Oh, how Merlin hated that gleam.

"Can you just help me find a way to reverse this?! Please?"

Gaius nodded and walked over to one of the bookshelves. Merlin plonked herself onto a bench by the table, just in time to see Gwen and Arthur come in. Arthur was smiling broadly and Gwen looked worried. She made her way towards Merlin and sat down with a sigh. Arthur held back a little, pretending to admire a bunch of dried herbs.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," Gwen began. "I should have thought -"

"It's fine," Merlin protested, "I shouldn't have reacted like that,"

Gwen smiled and opened her arms slightly. Merlin opened her own and they hugged. They broke apart smiling, Merlin's cheek's were slightly pink. They looked up to see Gaius and Arthur looking at them with equal expressions of bafflement.

"If you come out of this," Arthur said, looking at Merlin, "with an understanding of the opposite sex, I'll be your best friend forever,"

"I already have a best friend forever," Merlin's eyes twinkled, then she glanced at a grinning Gwen.

"She is mine," Gwen hugged Merlin again and they sat there in each other's arms.

"'He's' a '_she'_, now?" Arthur looked genuinely worried. "Merlin, you need to remember that you are a _man_,"

"Maybe I don't want to be a mean, nasty, stuck up his own arse - man!"

Arthur looked stunned, "Gwen, step away from the witch,"

Gwen pouted, "But Arthur -"

"Really, Gwen. Step away, you're making him a woman,"

"The baby's kicking," Merlin muttered. She looked down at Gwen's bump and pulled away slightly. Looking back up at Gwen and ignoring Arthur, she asked, "What's it like?"

"Oh, it's wonderful, Merlin!" Gwen took a deep breath as if she was getting ready to draw up an entire story on the subject.

"Gwen!" Arthur stepped in quickly. "Don't tell him about pregnancy, for gods sake!"

"Where's Gwaine?" Merlin was still ignoring Arthur. She looked at Gwen for the answer.

"_Arthur_," Gwen shot the King a glare, "sent him down to the training grounds,"

"But if he goes down there, he'll see the other Knights," Merlin's jaw dropped, "And if he see's the knight's he'll tell them about me!" Merlin whipped around to face Arthur and screamed, _"Why did you do that?"_

Arthur had the decency to look sheepish. "Well - I - Eh,"

Merlin jumped up and kicked him in the shin. "You ASS!"

"Ow! _Mer_lin!" Arthur yelled. "What was that for?"

"You know what!"

"Merlin you're not making sense!"

"I'm making perfect sense!"

"No - you're not!"

"Well, then! You must be _deaf_!"

"I _will_ be deaf when you've finished shouting in my face!"

"Don't shout back then!"

"I'll shout all I want! I'm the KING!"

"OH! And we're back to that _lame_ excuse! Well, let me tell _you_," Merlin poked him in the chest, "you're not the handsome King you think you are! I would know! _I'm a woman!"_

"You're not a woman, Merlin! _You're not!"_

"I am SO!"

"Well," Arthur struggled with an insult then yelled triumphantly, "You argue like one!"

"GOOD! That means I'm winning!"

Arthur was shocked into silence.

"She has a point," Gwen added, calmly, from behind them.

Merlin smiled smugly. Arthur just gaped.

"You can't win this battle, Arthur," Merlin said sweetly.

Without any warning, Arthur's hand shot out and punched Merlin in the chest. It wasn't a painful punch, but Merlin's jaw dropped, "You didn't," Merlin paused, taking a deep breath, "just punch my boob?"

"Maybe I did," Arthur challenged. His hand whipped out again and did the same thing.

Merlin sucked in a shocked gasp and stared at Arthur. "What are you doing?"

Arthur didn't answer, but his hand shot out again. This time it didn't reach her chest. In one fluid movement, she knocked the arm back and brought her fist up. Merlin's bunched up fist connected with Arthur's face with a loud _smack!_

"Oh, Arthur. You're in trouble," Gwen muttered.

Arthur was doubled over in pain and clutching his nose, red liquid streaming out of it. Merlin loomed over him menacingly. Slowly, Arthur straightened and looked Merlin in the eye.

He punched her boob again.

"You're dead!"

Merlin jumped him. Knocking him to the floor and punching him repeatedly. Arthur fought back, landing his own blows and rolling around as they struggled. Finally, Merlin was trapped in a headlock, with Arthur grinding his fist into the top of her head.

"Ow! AH! Get off!" Merlin yelled.

"No! Not yet!"

"Get off! OW!"

"There!" Arthur let go of Merlin and grinned at the scowling female.

Merlin responded with an elbow to his side. "Prat,"

But they grinned at each other.

"If anyone cares," A voice spoke from beside a bookshelf, they turned towards it to see Gaius watching them over his glasses and an open book in his hands, "I've found the necessary potion to turn you back, Merlin,"

"Oh," Merlin stood up and brushed off her breeches. Kicking Arthur as she went past, she made her way to Gaius' side and peered over his shoulder to look at the book in his hands.

Meanwhile, Arthur dragged himself off the floor and onto the bench beside Gwen. Gwen got a cloth and held it against his still bleeding nostrils. "Fool," she muttered affectionately.

"I won't lose my Court Sorcerer to the opposite sex, Guinevere,"

"I know," Gwen sighed, "It would have been nice to have a friend who wasn't one of those Ladies of the Court, though,"

"Enjoy it while you can," Merlin spoke from beside them. They hadn't noticed her approach.

Arthur looked at her with a frown, "What are you talking about, Merlin?"

"The potion takes a week to brew,"

Arthur swore.

* * *

**AN: One more chapter? I didn't realise I was going to write all this until I wrote it! :D **

**The thing Merlin was asking Gwen about last chapter - **

"Do you think I'm... eh... _all_ woman?"

**(Actually, the entire thing. Virginity and all. *smug grin*)**

**- will be answered in the next chapter. I meant it to be in this one but... *shrugs***

**Now, Merlin's and Arthur's argument... I was laughing so much - tears were coming out of my eyes! :D Did you have the same reaction? Please say yes! Not sure if laughing at my own work is healthy. :D**

**I will also like to remind you that this isn't a Merthur fic, nor will there be any other pairings between Merlin and _anyone_. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**

**Responses: **

**Random**

**I'm glad you think it's funny! This is one of those strange stories of mine that have the tendency to go funny, without me trying (which is weird as I'm not usually good at writing funny)! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Megan**

**I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Don't worry about "laughing like a madwoman" I did the same when I _wrote_ it! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Nance**

**Oh yes. Gwaine has been cured! The gender crisis is getting worse! :D Thanks for reviewing!**


	4. Pains

Merlin had gone to bed that night without seeing anyone else. She ran up to her room and stayed there, the fact that the other Knights would know now, making her gut clench. She rid in her room and didn't let anyone in except for the maid who brought her food and a range of women's clothing that Gwen had insisted that she should have.

Merlin had glared at the clothing, seeing the night-dresses, robes, dresses and underwear. When the maid had left, Merlin had picked up a corset between thumb and fore-finger, with a frown on her beautiful forehead. "There's no way I'm wearing that,"

Gaius was working on the potion as fast as he could but the process couldn't be rushed.

_"You'll have to wait, Merlin. I can't speed it up," Gaius had told her firmly. _

_"But Gaius -" _

_"No,"_

Merlin had fallen asleep after much shifting and punching of pillows. If she lay on her front, her breasts got squished and if she lay on her side, her hips dug into the mattress. The covers got twisted around her legs and the temperature rose steeply. Her hair got static and stuck to her face. Finally, she threw back the covers and settled on her back with a huff. She drifted off into a broken sleep just as the moon reached its highest point.

* * *

The morning was dull. Merlin woke groggily and slowly stretched out. Then her limbs went stiff and her eyes flew wide open. There was a certain... _dampness_ around her lower regions.

Merlin held her breath as she slowly looked down.

The sheets were red.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Oh! _Shit!_" Merlin scrambled up into a sitting position and stared at the horrifying stain. It covered the inside of her thighs and the tip of her night-shirt. A round-ish stain of red was on the white sheet.

"This is... Oh gods. This is - _hunh!_"

She got up quickly and threw the blankets over the stain. Half shrugging, she thought the evidence was well enough hidden before glancing down and seeing the mess she was in. She raked her fingers through her hair but yelped when the tangled strands got stuck between her fingers.

She glanced at the pile of women's clothing on the table and grimaced. She'll need a robe. She didn't have one as a man. Cringing, she shifted through the pile until she found one and wrapped it around her curvy frame. It dragged on the floor as she walked towards the door.

She held a ear against the door and listened for any movement. There was just one.

Slowly, Merlin creaked open the door and stuck her head out. She sighed in relief when the only person in the corridor was a maid. "Psst!" She caught the maids attention, who smiled helpfully and bowed her head.

"Can I help you, sir - eh - Ma-am?"

Merlin scowled. Great, now the servants knew. She considered telling the maid she was actually a whore before quickly dismissing the idea. _That_ would only result in worse rumours.

"I need you to go get the Queen for me," Merlin said.

"The Queen?"

"Yeah, the Queen. Here... Now,"

The maid frowned but bowed her head again and scuttled away.

Merlin ducked back into her room and closed the door. Leaning against the rough wood of it, Merlin heaved a sigh. The day had only just began and it was already the worst day of her life. After yesterday.

Merlin frowned. She hurt. This was - "Ow," Merlin rubbed the area between her hips and grimaced. Then it dawned on her, "Oh great! Period pains!"

Could this day get any worse?

She stiffly walked to the bed and sat down. The pains were getting stronger.

By the time the Queen waddled through the door, Merlin was curled up in a tight ball with a grimace of pain on her face.

Gwen took one look at her position and nodded. She went out of the room again and talked briefly to a servant before coming back in and approaching Merlin. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at Merlin sympathetically.

"I take back all quips or jokes I have ever made in my life about women and... this," Merlin said quietly.

Gwen grinned, all sympathy leaving her face. "Us women have always wanted to curse men with this. Now that it's happened... it's just great!"

"Thanks for the support, Gwen," Merlin grumbled.

"I sent a servant to get some willow bark tea and to draw a bath. Pain killers and a warm soak is the only treatment, sorry,"

"I know," Merlin curled up tighter and shut her eyes. But opened them again as Gwen laughed. "What now?"

"Is this what you were trying to talk to me about on the stairs yesterday?"

Merlin thought for a minute before answering, "Yes. I was worried that I would be stuck like this for longer than a day - exactly _this_ would happen,"

Gwen giggled, "We best not tell anyone about this. I don't think the other men would accept you back into the fold if this gets out,"

"The servants know,"

"They know a lot of things,"

"I miss that,"

"Me too,"

They gazed at each other until Merlin's face broke into a wide grin. Gwen smiled back and it wasn't long until they were laughing like madwomen.* Merlin unraveled her limbs somewhat as she laughed harder. They had no idea why they were laughing. It was just surreal.

* * *

Merlin looked down at the full bath and huffed. She hadn't looked at herself naked yet. When she got dressed for bed last night, she had purposely got the night-shirt on before taking her breeches off and stayed away from the mirror. The thought of a bath was... well... unthinkable. Merlin didn't want to see anything. She didn't want to face the fact that she didn't look like a man in any way, shape or form. Not now, not ever.

"Gwen, I really don't want a bath,"

"You still hurt, don't you?"

Merlin grimaced and tried not to move too much, "Yeah..." She said cautiously.

"Then get in the damn bath!"

"You're still here,"

"We're both women here, Merlin. You shouldn't be embarrassed,"

"I wasn't always a woman!"

"Nor will you be at the end of this week,"

Merlin said nothing.

"Do I have to get up and undress you myself?"

"No!" Merlin almost screamed.

"Merlina... get in the bathtub,"

"Don't call me that,"

"Merlina,"

"Now you're just being annoying,"

"Meeerrrlina,"

"Gwen!" Merlin turned round to see her sitting at the table, smiling.

"Yes, my shrub?"

Merlin shook her head slowly. "I'm not getting in the bath with you here,"

"Fill the bath with cloudy soap, then. I'll close my eyes until you're in, if that will make you happy?"

"You won't leave?"

"Of course not," She grinned mysteriously. Then rolled her eyes at Merlin's untrusting gaze, "I was Morgana's maid before, I drew her baths all the time. I am a woman myself. I know what the female body looks like. So don't worry and get in the bath!"

Merlin heaved a sigh and dropped a load of soap in the water before going behind the screen next to the bath. "Fine, but don't be peeking until I'm in,"

"Finally,"

Merlin peeled off the robe and let it drop to the ground. Her hands were shaking as she took a handful of the neckline of her night-shirt and pulled it over her head. That joined the robe on the floor.

She looked down and made a face. Absolutely no male evidence visible. The one - or three - pieces of evidence missing being the most stressful.

Averting her eyes to the screen beside her she took in a deep shuddering breath and called out, "Close you eyes, I'm coming out,"

"Okay, they're shut,"

Merlin poked her raven haired head round the screen to make _absolutely _sure Gwen was telling the truth before stepping out and climbing into the tub. The water was hot at first. Merlin sucked in a breath and grimaced. Slowly lowering herself into the water, she forgot to make sure Gwen wasn't looking.

No surprise then, when she glanced up - after finally sitting down - to see a grinning Gwen watching her.

"You bitch!"

"I closed my eye until you were in. You didn't specify how far in the tub you would be before I could open them,"

Merlin frowned at her logic and then gave up. Leaning against the side of the tub, she sighed in relief as the hot water soaked into her aching muscles. "Gwen, I was thinking -"

_Bang!_

The door flew open and a group of men walked in.

"FUCK!"

Merlin pressed herself against the bathtub's side and bowed her head. She wasn't sure if she was fast enough.

The men froze and all started to babble apologies. The Knights of the Round table going bright red and laughing at the same time. Gwaine was among them and laughing hard as he took in the scene.

"Get out!" Gwen came to her rescue. She marched over to them as fast as she could and pushed them out. "Get out! You idiots! Get out!"

They all turned tail and fled from Queen Guinevere's wrath. Gwaine was still laughing as he called out, "Nice tits, Merlina!"

"I swear I will die of embarrassment before this week is up," Merlin mumbled.

* * *

**AN: I have to admit that this chapter wasn't as funny as the last three. :/ But now we know what Merlin was worried about in the second chapter. :) But still haven't explained attract-to situation or virginity thing. D: I get carried away! **

**What did you think, then? ****Please review! :)**

***Stolen from megan. "Madwoman" kind of stuck in my brain. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Responses:**

**Nance**

**I don't think your vision will come true now! :D Thanks for reviewing! **

**Megan**

**D: Please don't choke! :D Thanks for reviewing!**


	5. The Opposite Sex

"I think I'll just stay in here until the end of the week,"

"Merlina, you can't stay in your room,"

"What have I told you about calling me that?"

"To not to?"

"Bingo,"

"What's 'bingo'?"

"No idea,"

"Why did you say it then?"

"Why can't I say it?"

"Why are we arguing?"

"Don't know - must be because I'm a woman,"

"Don't let Arthur hear you say that,"

"Don't know what the problem is, I look and talk like a woman. I am currently experiencing the wonderful process of menstruating and have the world's best boobs - according to Gwaine,"

"... I still don't think you should stay in here,"

"Well - Gah!"

Merlin was shoved into the corridor by a very annoyed eight-month pregnant Gwen. They had previously been staring into the corridor through Merlin's bedroom door. Gwen smiled as Merlin tripped over her own feet and twisted mid-air to land on her cute behind.

"Don't mess with the dress!" Merlin grunted.

"You're not wearing a dress," Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Oh what was that?" Merlin asked innocently. Standing up and cocking her head to the side as if listening intently. "Oh yes, I remember how I magically tied you up in it when you attempted to get me into one,"

"Merlina, you're in the corridor. Now start walking," Gwen giggled.

Merlin grinned back and offered an elbow which Gwen linked her arm in. "Don't call me Merlina," Merlin warned as they started down the corridor. Merlin's bedroom door swinging shut seemingly on it's own.

"Why don't you like it?" Gwen pouted.

"It's degrading. And there's a danger it will catch on. Then I'll be called it even _after_ being changed back,"

"Ah, I see," Gwen smiled. "But I think it's too late for that,"

Merlin sighed. "I was afraid of that happening,"

They had reached the stairs and were making their way down before Gwen spoke again, "So you never answered that question. Gwaine distracted us before you could,"

Merlin paused mid-step, her stomach clenching nervously, "What question?" She dared ask.

"The women one?"

"That doesn't help much,"

"Are you attracted to women or men?" Gwen asked bluntly.

Merlin froze, her foot hovering over the next step. "I refuse to answer that,"

"Don't you know?"

"Why are we talking about this?"

"I'm just interested!"

"Why are you interested?!"

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"Why do you care?"

"Why are you trying to avoid the question?"

"Why are you trying to make me answer it?"

"Why not?"

"Why are we asking ourselves 'Why' questions?"

Gwen grinned.

"Ahem,"

Merlin jumped and spun around to see none other then Arthur, smiling uncertainly at the two women.

"What do you want?" Merlin demanded.

Arthur didn't react but looked at her calmly, "I was just coming up to drag you out of your room, Merlin,"

"What if I were naked?" Merlin smiled in triumphant as Arthur's face went beetroot red, "Your Knight's don't seem to care so their King can't be any different," She placed her fists on her hips and lifted one eyebrow questionably.

"Well... I - eh," The King cleared his throat and shuffled his feet, "I would have knocked,"

"Oh, really?" Merlin _humphed_ and pushed past him. "I'll see you later, I expect an apology from every Knight who saw me in that tub," Merlin got three more steps down before adding, "Including you,"

"Why me?!"

"Because you're an arrogant prat,"

Gwen and Arthur were left on the stairs. Gwen smiling kindly and Arthur gaping in shock. "What just happened?" Arthur turned slowly to Gwen.

"I believe you just got successfully scolded," Gwen kissed him gently on the cheek and gave him a light push in the direction Merlin went. "Come on, we have to catch up with her," Then her eyes lit up, "Could you tell me about Merlin's preferences as a man?"

"Huh?" Arthur frowned at his wife. "What are you... oh," Arthur's face went bright red again. He knew full well that there was no getting away from Gwen's questions now. _Lucky git_, he thought as he glanced in the direction Merlin went.

* * *

Merlin sighed in relief as she left Arthur and Gwen behind. "Now to find an alcove to hide in," Merlin muttered.

"I wouldn't,"

"Argh!" Merlin spun around and glared at the next man to sneak up on her. Gwaine grinned mysteriously but faltered under Merlin's glare.

"I wasn't looking at your arse, I promise!" Gwaine held up his hands in defense. "I've already seen it bare anyway!" He added with a wild grin.

"Twat!" Merlin smacked him upside the head and glared daggers at the sniggering man. "Why are you picking on me?!"

"You're Merlin!" Gwaine laughed. "And you've turned yourself into a woman for a week! What is there _not_ to pick on?"

Merlin's mouth dropped open. "You are... impossible," She turned on her heel and stomped off.

"Oh, come on! Merlin!" Gwaine shouted after him. "Come back!"

Merlin kept stomping. Her face felt hot, and there was a lump in her throat. "Shit, I'm not going to cry," Merlin rubbed her face really quickly and blinked rapidly. "Nope, not. No. Not going to -"

"Merlina!"

"Fuck. I'm going to cry," Merlin whined. The first hot tears rolling down her cheeks. she quicken her step until she was almost running.

"Merlin! Where are you going?!"

"Shit!" Merlin muttered. There was no way she was going to let the _Prat_ see her cry... like a girl. That would just be proving him right.

"Merlin! Stop!"

"NO!" Merlin broke out into a full run. Pelting through the corridor's and hall's. Servants and guest's leaped aside as she sped past. They creeped forward again only to jump back as the King and one of his Knight's took pursuit.

Her eyes were bleary from crying and her hair whipped in front of her face. Her legs felt like jelly and she almost fell a couple of times. She didn't pay attention to where she was going. It was only as she turned another corner that she swore colourfully. "Damn it, feet! Why did you bring me here?"

She was running towards the armoury. And it was the morning. The Knight's will be there. Training. Hot and sweaty men.

She skidded to a stop and stood there breathing heavily. She didn't cry anymore, too shocked by her own thoughts. She had actually started to picture the Knight's sleek abs.

"I'm going to be sick," Merlin mumbled.

"If you wanted to go to the training grounds, you could have just said," Arthur grumbled playfully behind her. Having finally caught up.

"Aye, I'm sure we would have let you hold a sword. Seeing a female Merlin try to fight would be funny!" Gwaine teased.

They both failed to notice her red tear-streaked face or how she was frozen on the spot. A slightly glazed look crossing her face as she tried to dispel the images of men stripping off to only wearing beeches (sometimes less) and the way some had amazingly tanned skin.

Gwaine's use of the word "sword" was also playing on her mind.*

"Come on then, Warlock," Arthur clamped his hand on her shoulder which made her jump out of her frozen state. "Let's go see if the other guy's will say sorry to you," His voice didn't sound genuine. Just cheeky.

"Nah," Merlin shook her head and attempted to turn around, "I think I'll pass,"

"Nope," Gwaine gripped her other shoulder. "Don't chicken out now, Merlina,"

"Don't call me that!" She whined.

Together, the two big men pushed her towards the armoury door and then to the door which took them out to the training grounds. Merlin protesting all the way.

"I really think I shouldn't go out there. Maybe I'll just -" Merlin dug her heels into the floor, halting their advance somewhat, "- stay in Gaius' chambers for the rest of my life. I don't think it's a good idea for me to see all the guys while I'm like this," they had reached the door to the grounds. "You're not listening to me! This is a bad idea! Let me go! I don't want to see them! Argh!"

They pushed her through the door. Her fingers flaying to catch the door frame and missing.

A cheer went up as soon as she emerged. Her face turned a bright shade of red as all the Knight's in the grounds cheered and knocked their swords against their shields. She felt so self-conscience she had to glance down to make sure she was wearing clothes. The presence of her beeches and shirt confirmed, she stepped forward and nodded grudgedly at their wild cheering.

"Just kill me now," She said through gritted teeth. Arthur heard her and laughed.

"Your arse will be forever the conversation of these Knights. You better get used to it,"

* * *

**AN: Sorry that this update was late! I've finally finished my exams! :D So expect updates to speed up. I'll try to get them about twice a week! :)**

**Please review! :D**

***Do you get it? I'm sorry! :D... No, I'm not. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**

**Megan**

**Hehe! I'm glad you like it! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Nance**

**Thanks for that! :D Do you think this was a bit better? Thanks for reviewing!**


	6. Apple

Day five of Merlin's torture found the female in an alcove behind a tapestry. Crouching down on her hunches with a hand over her mouth. Willing her breath to _stop making so much noise_! She could hear the servants walking past the tapestry. Their chatter and footsteps passing quickly as they made their way to wherever they had to be. Once they were gone, Merlin let out her breath and prepared to stand.

Only to hunch down again as the clink of chain mail and the swish of cloaks signified passing Knight's. Their loud banter made Merlin frown, then she rolled her eyes as she realised their topic.

"Merlina hasn't been seen since yesterday. Where do you reckon she's hiding?" Gwaine loudly proclaimed.

"I don't blame her for hiding. Your teasing is getting out of hand," Merlin smiled as she heard Percival defend her.

"Out of hand?" Gwaine scoffed.

"Yeah, I think the flowers were a bit much," Elyan said in exasperation.

"And the doves," Percival added.

"Don't forget the servant who brought him the dresses and corsets," Leon put in.

"Alright!" Gwaine hushed them. "But Arthur helped with the dresses. Something about Merlin carrying dresses around the castle more than once," They were getting close to her hiding place now.

"Arthur stopped teasing Merlin three days ago," Elyan pointed out.

"And the dresses were sent four days ago," Gwaine shot back. He was right on the other side of the tapestry. "But wait... what's behind this tapestry?"

Merlin cursed silently. Her eyes blazed gold in the darkness of her hide out just as the tapestry was ripped aside.

"Absolutely nothing, that's what's behind there, Gwaine," Elyan chuckled.

Merlin grinned as she watched Gwaine's confused face whip back and forth the small alcove. "I thought I saw her cloak poking out from under it," Gwaine muttered. Merlin's eyes dropped to the floor to see that in fact her cloak _had_ been poking out from under the tapestry. She rolled her eyes at herself and pursed her lips.

Gwaine was still raking his gaze over the alcove. His eyes seeing nothing but an old, dusty - empty - space. She dared not move or breath as he lingered. Any sound would reveal her hiding place. _Finally_, the man shrugged and turned away.

A wicked smile crossed Merlin's face as the tapestry fell in front of the alcove again. She waited until their footsteps had faded down the corridor before slipping out and following them. She was still invisible.

Tip-toeing down the corridor, she quickly caught up with the knight's and fell in behind them. They were still arguing about her.

"Gwaine, the novelty of his stupidity is wearing out. Two more day's and he'll be a man again. Then we can laugh about it together. But until then, you should really give it a rest," Elyan was saying.

"But you guys don't understand! _Merlin_ is a _girl_!" Gwaine complained.

"Gwaine. Shut up," Leon rolled his eyes.

Gwaine huffed. He took an apple out of his pocket and bit into it. Through the mouthful he said, "When she's a man again, I'll apologise. Until then -"

"You'll stop annoying him," Percival finished the sentence for the rogue.

Merlin smiled and watched the apple in Gwaine's hand. Her eyes flashed gold.

He went to bite into it again - "Argh!" He recoiled from it then chuckled. "There's a worm in my apple," He held the piece of fruit by it's stalk and twirled it around, "What the..." On the side where he hadn't bitten into were two words.

Merlin stepped closer so she was looking over Gwaine's shoulder. The apple read -

'That's you.'

Gwaine gulped and looked over his shoulder. His gaze going right through her.

"Gods, that's creepy," Gwaine muttered.

"What?" Elyan looked at the apple and laughed. He nudged Percival and whipped the apple out of Gwaine's hand to show it to the big man. Percival smiled and looked around. Leon chuckled as he took the apple.

"Merlin? Are you there?" Percival called down the hall.

Merlin just cocked her head to the side and watched them. She remained behind Gwaine's shoulder. She was close enough to smell his musky male scent. She never noticed that before. She leaned in closer and sniffed. Yes, men did smell different. She frowned and rocked back on her heels. That was a weird thing to do.

Although, she probably noticed it now because she had this ever increasing urge to bathe herself everyday. Being dirty was... uck. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was starting to enjoy being a woman. Nope, definitely not. Not even close. No way. At all...

Okay, maybe a little.

Merlin snapped her thought's back to the present as Gwaine suddenly stepped back. She scrambled backwards so he wouldn't bump into her. Only to end up winding herself on the wall behind them. She gasped and immediately covered her mouth, her eyes like saucers.

"What?" Gwaine spun around and stared at the wall that had just gasped. "Did you hear that?" He asked the guys behind him.

"Hear what?" Leon asked, looking up from the apple.

Gwaine grinned and stepped towards the wall. His hand reaching out in front of him. Merlin pressed herself into the wall, wishing she could sink into it. Her eyes still wide as she watched Gwaine's hand travel towards her. It's was too late when she realised where it was going to end up.

His hand connected with her breast and stayed there.

Merlin stared down at that hand on her boob and shivered. Her back was crawling but she wasn't sure if it was a bad feeling. It was like -

She shook her head and said calmly, "Get your filthy paws off my boob, you pervert,"

Gwaine immediately snapped his hand back before laughing. With a flash of gold, Merlin reappeared in the corridor. The other knight's blinking in surprise as Gwaine howled with laughter.

"I would think that you knew what a breast felt like, Gwaine," Merlin glared. "Then have the decency to stop feeling when you felt it,"

"What?" Gwaine brushed a tear out from the corner of his eyes and struggled to keep his laughter back.

"Forget it," Merlin twirled on her heel and walked away. Balling her hands into fists and grumbling about "Men" and their "selective hearing". Her eyes flashed gold again.

A yelp behind her made her grin in triumphant.

* * *

**AN: Hey! Yeah, little chapter. Sorry about the wait. There was a mis-behaving sewing machine, a 3-month baby brother, fan-art and prom to distract me. Just thought I should give you this to cover the next few days! **

**It might not be up to the usual standard, I was struggling with the prank I wanted Merlin to do on Gwaine. By the next chapter, I should have conjured up something good! :)**

**Thanks for reading! And please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**

**Nance**

**Donkey ears?... humm... :D Thanks for reviewing!**

**Megan**

**Glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!**


	7. To be or not to be - a woman?

Merlin strolled down the corridor's towards Gaius' chambers. A big grin still on her face as she pictured the image she had left behind. She sighed in happiness and kept walking. When she stood outside Gaius' door, she paused to compose her features. Forcing the stupid grin to lower somewhat, when that failed - she shrugged and flew through the door.

"Hey, Gaius!" She called happily.

The old man looked up in surprise, "Merlin? Why are you so happy?"

"You'll see," Merlin grinned wider. "How are you getting on with that potion?"

Gaius considered her mood for a second before shrugging it off and answering her,"Good, everything is coming along nicely. The rat spline was a bit tricky but -"

Merlin held up a hand in front of his face and waved it, "Don't tell me anymore, please," She grimaced, "Rat spline?"

Gaius nodded, "A female's rat spline,"

Merlin shook her head slowly, "Why would I want to know that?"

"You asked," Gaius bent over his work again.

Merlin wandered around the room, a grin reappearing on her face. She picked up odd bottles, pretending to admire them and then putting them down again. Her eyes glancing towards the door constantly. Gaius ignored her, putting it down to her change. She had been acting strange, especially since the second day of her - him - being a... her.

Gaius looked up at her with a frown. "Merlin," He waited until Merlin turned to look at him before continuing, "Are you a man or a woman?"

Merlin frowned back at him and said cautiously, "A woman. Why?"

"No reason," Gaius looked away from him quickly. He scuttled over to the cauldron to check Merlin's remedy. How he wished he could speed up the process. He was about to stir the pot when -

_Bang!_

_"Merlin!"_

Merlin's cackling laughter vibrated throughout the room as Gwaine came running in. His face a mask of rage.

In fact, his face was the only recognisable feature of his body.

Gaius' eyes went wide as he took in the sight before him. Merlin was still laughing, quickly loosing the use of her legs as she laughed so hard they were going weak. She ended up sitting on the floor as she pointed to Gwaine.

Gwaine...

His face was the same. Same long-ish hair. Rough features. Stubbled jaw. The neck down however...

Gwaine's body was that of a woman's. He was wearing a bright pink dress, with unmistakable breasts pressing against the bodice. His arms were slim and hips protruded.

"Merlin!" Gwaine shouted, "Turn me back!"

Merlin just shook her head weakly from the floor, laughing too hard to answer.

"You git!" Gwaine seethed. "How am I suppose to go to the Tavern like this?!"

Gaius tried to fight the twitching smile that was creeping onto his face. He breathed in deeply and focused his attention on Gwaine's face. "Sir Gwaine, would you like to sit down while I investigate a cure to.. this - eh... unfortunate change,"

"Unfortunate!" Merlin gasped, clutching her sides. "I'd say he was darn lucky to have breasts of his own!" She collapsed into another fit of laughter. Gaius was finding it harder to keep the smirk off his face.

Gwaine glared at Merlin. Before grinning at her. "I could never stay mad at that beautiful face,"

Merlin stopped laughing abruptly. She glared at Gwaine who smiled mysteriously at her. "I wouldn't say the same to you,"

They glared at each other for an extra second before they burst out laughing. Gaius chuckled and turned away from them. He was sure there was a background story but he didn't feel the strength to ask.

Eventually, the laughter died down and Merlin picked herself off the floor. She grimaced as she took in the sight of Gwaine and gestured towards the table. They sat down, chuckling at each other.

"Sorry, the spell didn't work completely," Merlin explained, "It got distracted by the dress I think,"

"You used the same spell that turned yourself?" Gwaine asked.

Merlin nodded before snorting. "You look hilarious!" They laughed together before Merlin asked, "I'm afraid I can't reverse it but I can turn you completely woman if you want?"

Gwaine looked down at himself and scratched his stubbled face, "I think that would be wise,"

Merlin grinned, eyes scrunching. A flash of gold irises and Gwaine's hair grew until it was flowing down her back. Her stubble retreated and features become softer. A completely feminine Gwaine sat opposite Merlin. The two women smiled at each other.

Gwaine flicked her hair out of her face and grinned. "Go on, Merlin! Flick your hair!"

"Why do I need to do it when I can watch you?" Merlin raised an eyebrow a thoughtful look passing her face until she laughed, "I'm going to start calling you Rapunzel!"

Gwaine frowned, "Who's Rapunzel?"

Merlin just grinned and shook her head.

Just then there was a shout outside the door -

"Merlin!"

Gwaine rolled her eyes and Merlin nodded in agreement. Both turning bemused gazes in the direction of the door.

_"What did you do to one of my Knights?!"_

Arthur came barging into the room and caught the sight of the two women at the table. His face drained of colour and he stood gaping at them.

"Merlin... you didn't?" He breathed.

"Yep," Merlin nodded, "Gwaine is now Rapunzel,"

"Oh, for fuck sake," With that, he king turned on his heel and walked out.

Leaving behind two women in laughing fits.

* * *

**AN: Hehe! Gwaine's a woman! Yay! :D**

**Okay, I predict two more chapters for this and we're done! For real this time! :) I'm serious! **

**Well, please review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**

**Nance**

**Revenge against Gwaine: Complete. Revenge against Arthur:... in progress. :D Thanks for reviewing!**

**Megan**

**Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!**


	8. Revenge

Life as a woman had it's benefits, she had to admit. Merlin now received better treatment from people.

Yes - being the First Advisor to the King and Court Sorcerer had it's advantages but she couldn't see anyone bowing to her when she was a man.

It had been refreshing to see a new guest, Sir Galahad (who had only just arrived and had no idea about Merlin's spell disaster) bow to her and ask to escort her to the feast that night.

Merlin couldn't control the sudden leap in her heart when he asked her. "Hot" barely scratched the surface when describing this one. But Merlin politely replied, with a hint of disappointment, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I will have to decline your offer. You see, I am not always this beautiful,"

"If you're referring to your heart," The handsome Knight gallantly persisted, "I assure you, you shall always have my love and respect whatever your beauty,"

Merlin chuckled, "Sir Galahad... you're going to feel like such a fool when you realise the truth. Seriously, you will not know who I am when we see each other tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a pretty Knight wearing a pink dress," Merlin spun on her heel and left a six foot hunk of muscle behind her. Forcing her lip to stop pouting and maybe swinging her hips a bit too much.

She had seriously began to question the necessary of being turned back into a man. What was the point? She'll only get picked on by the Knight's and Arthur. Except, of course, Gwaine - Rapunzel - who is loving being a woman even more then Merlin would admit herself.

Rapunzel hadn't taken the damn dress off yet. She even went to practise this morning wearing it. To the delight of the other Knight's! Rapunzel had taken it all in her stride and even did a couple of twirls.

But it was all coming to an end. Gaius had almost finished the potion. It would be ready in a matter of hours. They will be men again before the feast tonight.

There was just one more thing to do. One more slice of revenge before this adventure comes to an end and all the pie had been eaten.

Arthur.

* * *

"Come on, you pink fool!"

"Keep your knickers on! I'm coming!"

Merlin rolled her eyes as Rapunzel tripped on the hem of her skirts and almost fell on her face.

"And they call me the clumsy one," Merlin shook her head in exaggerated disappointment.

"Shut up, you git!" Rapunzel hissed.

Merlin gasped, her eyes going wide in mock surprise, "That wasn't very Lady-like, Rapunzel,"

"Fuck you!" Rapunzel tried to keep a straight face but a laugh burst from her chest. Merlin laughed with her, her shest vibrating with mirth.

Finally, they quieted and stood in the corridor. Merlin glanced up and down it, still smiling, then nodded to Rapunzel.

She nodded back and they both began to make their way to the end of the corridor. When they got there, they turned left and found themselves on Arthur's hallway with the door to his chambers on the right. Two guards stood beside the door and eyed them warily.

"Arthur is expecting us," Merlin smiled politely and slipped past them as they froze - halfway between smiling back and trying to retain the look of seriousness. _Another advantage of being a woman - charms, _Merlin thought.

Arthur was sitting at his desk. A frown denting his forehead as he studied a piece of parchment covered in scribbles.

"What do you want, Merlin?" The king asked without lifting his head.

"How did you know it was me?" Merlin pouted.

"Who else flies through the door without knocking?" Arthur sighed, still looking at the parchment, "And Gwaine is with you, yes?"

"Aye," Rapunzel said cheerily. She strode forward and plonked onto the bed. "Feet are killing me. Why do women wear this things on their feet?"

"That bad?" Merlin frowned in sympathy, "I keep telling you that you need to wear something like me,"

"I like the dress," Rapunzel shrugged.

"I'm sure Arthur will marry you to the dress, if you wanted," Merlin rolled her eyes.

"If you've come into my chambers to talk like girls, you can get out now," Arthur lifted his head finally and glared at them.

"Actually," Merlin ignored the glare, sliding up to stand in front of the desk, "We need to talk,"

"About what?" Arthur's glare deepened, "What you're wearing tonight?"

"No," Merlin frowned, "I'll ask Gwen about that. No - something else!"

"Can it wait?" Arthur huffed.

"No," Merlin deadpanned.

"Merlin - I need to fin -"

_"áwendednes!"_

"Argh! MERLIN!"

Arthur bolted up, knocking his chair over and staring down at the breasts on her chest.

Merlin giggled - but clamped a hand on her mouth when Arthur's head snapped up. Eyes filled with fiery hate.

They stared at each other for a split second. Then Rapunzel said, "Your hair is lovely,"

Arthur's face went stony. Long blonde hair falling in front of a definitely female face. She cracked her knuckles - making Merlin twitch.

"You're dead," came Arthur's cold statement.

"RUN!" Merlin screamed at Rapunzel. Turning tail and bolting to the door. Rapunzel close behind.

"_Come here!_ MERLIN!" Arthur screeched after them and gave chase.

Merlin flew out the door and down the corridor. Yelling in un-suppressed mirth, "_The King is a Queen! The King is a Queen!"_

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! MERLIN!"

Merlin only paused her yelling to wink at the cutie - Sir Galahad - who had asked her to the feast earlier. The Knight smiled back then frowned in confusion as he spotted the blonde chasing her.

Glancing behind her, Merlin saw the new Queen was struggling to run in boots too big for her and boobs threatening to hit her in the face.

* * *

**AN: Hello! Yeah, I haven't been here - sorry! **

**I've moved house and have limited access to internet so I haven't been able to get anything to you til now. :)**

**What does everyone think of the awesome cover image made by Helca Maica? Isn't it just brilliant?! :D **

**Hope you enjoyed that! One more chapter to go and we're finished! :( **

**Please review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**


	9. Men Again

_"The King is a Queen! The King is a Queen! The King is a Queen!"_

The joyful shout of a giggling Witch echoed through the corridors. Halting confused servants and baffling Knights and Nobles. But they all rolled their eyes as they heard the familiar, yet feminie screech of -

"MERLIN!"

Merlin laughed manically as she was chased by a raging blonde Queen. Gwaine had stopped running long ago when it became clear that Arthur only wanted to kill Merlin. So he had collasped - giggling - when Arthur had chased the female round and around the courtyard.

Now they were running through the corridors - the new Queen had ditched her too large boots somewhere along the way. She was gaining quickly on the raven haired woman.

"The king is a-"

"MERLINNNNN!"

Merlin yelped as Arthur finally succeed in grabbing the witch by the collar. Blonde and black hair flew as Arthur knocked Merlin to the ground and held her in a headlock.

"Ow ow ow ow ow OW!" Merlin wiggled under the Queens grip and tried to tear herself away from the fist grinding into her skull. "Get off!"

"Turn me back!"

"Can't!"

"You can fucking TRY!"

"I'll turn you into a toad if you don't let go!"

Arthurs feminine face gritted her teeth and kept grinding.

"With warts!"

Arthur stopped grinding.

Merlin pushed away from her and collapsed onto the stone slabs, panting and rubbing a sore spot on her head.

"Knew that would stop you," Merlin giggled.

Merlin only received a glare.

"You know you look cute when you're angry," Merlin grinned.

Arthur got off the floor and humphed. Spinning on her heel, she stormed away quickly.

Merlin grunted as she dragged herself to her feet and ran after the raging Queen. She caught up with her just as she was peering round the corner to another corridor. "What are you doing?" Merlin frowned.

Arthur didn't answer. Flicking her blonde hair from her face, Arthur stepped out into the corridor and quickly walked to the end of that one. Merlin trailing behind. Arthur paused to peer around the next corner before continuing.

"Ohh," Merlin rolled her eyes. "Except for the guards at your door and the guests - everyone knows that I was going to turn you into a woman,"

Arthurs back stiffened. She turned slowly on her heel to face Merlin, who was a few feet away from her with her hands behind her back.

"Even the knights?" Arthur hissed.

"Especially the Knights," Merlin smiled.

"And Gwen?"

"I had to ask her opinion of course," Merlin's smile widened.

"I'm going to kill you," Arthur muttered calmly.

"Not before we drink that potion hopefully," Merlin skipped a little as she came towards Arthur than passed her, taking the route towards Gauis' chambers. "Come on, Gwaine will be there already,"

A low grumble came from behind her. Merlin stumbled as Arthur shoved her roughly.

"That's not a way for a Queen to behave now, is it?" Merlin shook her head in mock disappointment.

Arthur tried to keep a straight face as Merlin grinned goofily and wiggled her eyebrows. The Queen finally cracked when Merlin nudged her. The tiniest smile appeared on her lips which quickly became a laugh. "Merlin, fuck off,"

"I'm forgiven!" Merlin cheered.

"Why?" Arthur shook her head, looking down at her body. "Its so uncomfortable,"

"You deserve it," Merlin frowned, "You were being a real ass this week, more than usual,"

"Yeah," Arthur looked ashamed, "I know. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Of course," Merlin smiled happily and before Arthur could protest, she pulled the other woman into a hug. Arthur returned the hug shyly before pulling away. Merlin took one look at her vacant expression and nodded, "Lets go get that potion,"

They headed down the corridor together. Arthur's bare feet padding gently on the stone slabs. She kept stiffening her back and huffing.

Merlin looked sideways at her and beamed, "Hips move too much don't they? And the boobs? And the hair gets in your face constantly?"

Arthur just nodded - having just taken a mouthful of her own hair. She shook her head like a dog and choked out, "The... eh... it feels -" She cut herself off, her face going a deep shade of red.

"What?" Merlin frowned.

"You know... it's," Arthur gulped and looked down at her crotch, "Breezy,"

Merlin's chest exploded with a laugh that echoed down the corridor. She tried to stop herself but she caught the uncomfortable look on Arthur's face and the laugh strengthened until she was on the floor and gasping for air. Tears streaming down her face.

"Merlin, stop it," Arthur glared. But her eyes twinkled with a little mirth, catching the funny side of it.

"I can't stop," Merlin gasped. Giggling uncontrollably she repeated, "Breezy,"

A giggle escaped Arthur's throat. Both women froze at the noise before the laughing fit had them both. They held onto each other, trying to keep it together. But failing utterly as the fit vibrated their entire bodies.

Realising it was useless trying to stop, they staggered down the corridors. Laughing loudly and holding onto each other. Until they reached Gaius' chambers and burst through the doors. By then their laugh had bubbled down to little hiccups and short bursts of giggles.

Gaius looked up from the cauldron and rolled his eyes. Turning his back on the deranged women he passed a cup of something to the dark haired woman wearing baggy men's clothing.

"Gwaine!" Arthur called. "Is that the potion?"

The woman nodded, giving the cup a glare, "Gaius made me change," Gwaine huffed.

"Come on. Drink up," Gaius stared at her. Raising his eyebrow threateningly.

Gwaine gave the cup another glare before throwing back her head and drinking whatever was in the cup in one gulp. Her face twisted in a look of disgust. "Gawd. Gaius, that's no apple juice!"

They all stared at her in surprise. The voice coming from her throat was Gwaine's. No longer the higher pitched woman's one. As they watched, Gwaines features changed. Her chest got flattered, then expanded to fill her shirt. He grew a little and his hair got shorter. Stubble sprouted from his chin. Gwaine leaped up and looked down at his crotch. "Thank the gods! They're back!"

A cup was thrust into Merlin's and Arthur's faces. They each took a step back in surprise before seeing Gaius behind them. Taking the cup gingerly, Merlin looked down at the mirky brown substance in the cup. Should she? Should she not? Could it really be that bad if she stayed like this?

"Just drink it," Arthur held an empty cup. Her body was changing rapidly. Merlin pouted a little and looked back at the cup.

Sighing in resignation, Merlin gulped down the substance and grimaced. "That's disgusting!"

"Merlina, you forgot something," Arthur laughed. He was completely back to normal now.

"What?" Merlin frowned. He yelped as suddenly his clothes were too tight. The leather belt digging into his abdomen. "Help!"

"Don't you have magic or not?" Gaius tutted.

"Oh right," Merlin's eyes flashed and his clothes expanded. He turned to look in the mirror and sighed as he saw his old male face and sharp features. "You know... that is a brilliant disguise if we ever needed to get into an enemies hideout or something,"

"Yes. But for now Merlin," Arthur's hand clamped on to his shoulder, his reflection looking at him with a bemused glare, "You can go get my boots,"

_The End_

* * *

*BONUS*

The completely male versions of Merlin and Gwaine laughed together as they walked down the corridor towards the hall where the feast was taking place. They spotted a Knight named Sir Galahad who was standing by the doors with a slightly lost but determined look on his face.

Merlin watched him. Just as they passed the stood up Knight, Merlin caught his eye and winked.

Sir Galahad would never know that his lost love, that he will tell his fellow knights, children and Granddad children about, had in fact been at the feast that night. Just not in the form he would imagine.

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry that it took so long to get this to you! Was beyond busy and was kind of reluctant to finish this. **

**Because that's it! All done! No more! **

**How did you like it? Please review! And thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for all the wonderful reviews and support for this little story of mine. Really hoped you enjoyed (although, I have a suspicion that you did!) and gosh... thank you!**

**Replies!**

**Guest**

**So glad you liked this! Rolling on the floor laughing is what I was aiming for! Thanks for the review!**

**Yay**

**Thanks for all your wonderful****reviews! What did you think of the final chapter? **

**Nance**

**Oh, yes, they do like it, don't they? Merlin seems more gutted though! Thanks for the reviews!**

**Megan (Chapter 7)**

**Glad I made you laugh! lol! Thanks for reading and reviewing! **


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